I hardly ever say that I'm too busy, or that I don't have enough time. Whenever people say that to me, I always tell them this fun story.
Back when I was a junior in high school, I was sitting in my advisory class, with one of my best friends sitting directly behind me.She wasn't in the best mood, telling me that she had so much work to do over the weekend, and that it wasn't possible to finish it all. I told her, "You have all weekend, that's 48 hours. You have enough time." My friend then exclaimed to me, "48 hours isn't enough time!" The teacher in that class overhead our conversation and approached us and said, "48 hours isn't enough time? Jack Bauer can save the world twice in 48 hours. He can stop two terrorist attacks in 48 hours." Ever since then, I've never complained about not having enough time.
Being a big basketball fan, and just being a big sports fan in general, I've learned to make the most of each minute. I remember one time trying to tell a group of my friends something, and, assuming that I was going to talk about basketball, they started teasing me. One of them thought I was going to say something like, "In basketball, five minutes is an eternity." While I wasn't going to say anything about basketball in general, I couldn't help but think, Yeah, that's true! In sports, a couple minutes, or even a couple seconds, can last forever. That's not because of all the time-outs called (well, actually it is) but because so much can be done in such a short little time. The average NBA team averaged about 100 points a game, but we can't forget, it only takes about 1/2 second to score a point! It's just about using our time wisely, and not falling into the mental pit of thinking that we have less time than we actually do.
Why we tend to feel at a crunch for time is that because we don't allocate our time properly. There's plenty of time to do stuff if we make it! I was watching a video of Bill Cosby on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and something he said stood out to me. When Johnny remarked at how Bill Cosby is always busy, he replied with, "You got plenty of time to rest when you're dead." Hence, I always find there to be enough time.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lesson #10: Be the same to everyone around you
One movie that I never tire of watching is Remember the Titans starring Denzel Washington. I love inspirational sports movies like that, and Titans provided me with many memorable scenes. One of these scenes, and I think a scene that represents the theme of the movie well, occurs after one of the team's first win of the season.
During the game, the Titans give up an early 7-0. When the Titans are on offense, Petey misses a tackle, causing the head coach, Boone, yell at him and to take him out of the game. Petey walks away dejected but is intercepted by assistant coach Yoast. Petey explains that he can't deal with Coach Boone's criticism and it just makes him play worse, so Coach Yoast tells Petey to come play for him on the defensive end (Boone is in charge of the offense, Yoast the defense). Though hesitant at first, Petey goes along with what Coach Yoast says and plays splendidly, helping lead the Titans to victory.
The next day, Coach Boone brings up Coach Yoast's move, calling it insubordination. Yoast explains that some players just don't respond well to public criticism, and that he just tells the boys what they need to know without humiliating them. Boone asks, "What boys?" and puts out that it's only the black players that Yoast seems to protect and patronize. Boone goes on to say:
"Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that football field. The world don't give a damn about how sensitive these kids are, especially the young black kids. You ain't doin' these kids a favor by patronizing them. You crippling them; You crippling them for life."
This leads me to my point. While I'm not suggesting that people be unkind and mean spirited, what I am saying is that however you act, act the same way to everybody. The context of the movie dealt with racism, but since I feel that any well-raised knows that to act differently towards one based on race, religion, sexual orientation, I want to focus on two types of people we subconsciously treat differently: the opposite gender and family.
From a guy's perspective, one of the things that kind of irritates me is when I try to talk to a guy, and he seems disinterested and unfriendly, but when that guy is with a group of girls, he's suddenly the most interesting person on the planet. I can't really speak so much for the female gender, but I've always noticed that guys tend to treat girls better than guys, as a way of trying to impress them, or even flirt with them. For instance, when I asked my dorm roommate how his midterm went, he just said, "Eh" and didn't even bother turning around to look at me. Yet, bring a couple of girls into the room, and he'll be talkative and charming. Now, there are a lot of guys who believe that women should be treated better, and I'm okay with that, but I don't necessarily agree. I've always believed in treating everybody as well as possible, and if you treat girls better than guys, then you're not making the effort to treat guys well too.
The second thing I mentioned is how we treat family. I think just about everybody acts different when they're socializing with peers, then when they're with relatives. People tend to be a little bit better in their public life than in their private life, because they can hide their lesser moments that way. One thing that I've noticed, though, is that most of the best people I know are family people. My theory for this is that how you treat your family, though it may be different, correlates with how you treat your friends. Being exposed to your family all the time growing up, that's where one practices and learns good qualities and traits. If we learn to act kind to our parents and siblings, then that naturally translates into how we act towards our friends.
Every act we may shapes who we are as a person, regardless of who we're interacting with. Thus, however you choose to act, be it towards a stranger, a family member, or a close friend, be the same to all.
During the game, the Titans give up an early 7-0. When the Titans are on offense, Petey misses a tackle, causing the head coach, Boone, yell at him and to take him out of the game. Petey walks away dejected but is intercepted by assistant coach Yoast. Petey explains that he can't deal with Coach Boone's criticism and it just makes him play worse, so Coach Yoast tells Petey to come play for him on the defensive end (Boone is in charge of the offense, Yoast the defense). Though hesitant at first, Petey goes along with what Coach Yoast says and plays splendidly, helping lead the Titans to victory.
The next day, Coach Boone brings up Coach Yoast's move, calling it insubordination. Yoast explains that some players just don't respond well to public criticism, and that he just tells the boys what they need to know without humiliating them. Boone asks, "What boys?" and puts out that it's only the black players that Yoast seems to protect and patronize. Boone goes on to say:
"Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that football field. The world don't give a damn about how sensitive these kids are, especially the young black kids. You ain't doin' these kids a favor by patronizing them. You crippling them; You crippling them for life."
This leads me to my point. While I'm not suggesting that people be unkind and mean spirited, what I am saying is that however you act, act the same way to everybody. The context of the movie dealt with racism, but since I feel that any well-raised knows that to act differently towards one based on race, religion, sexual orientation, I want to focus on two types of people we subconsciously treat differently: the opposite gender and family.
From a guy's perspective, one of the things that kind of irritates me is when I try to talk to a guy, and he seems disinterested and unfriendly, but when that guy is with a group of girls, he's suddenly the most interesting person on the planet. I can't really speak so much for the female gender, but I've always noticed that guys tend to treat girls better than guys, as a way of trying to impress them, or even flirt with them. For instance, when I asked my dorm roommate how his midterm went, he just said, "Eh" and didn't even bother turning around to look at me. Yet, bring a couple of girls into the room, and he'll be talkative and charming. Now, there are a lot of guys who believe that women should be treated better, and I'm okay with that, but I don't necessarily agree. I've always believed in treating everybody as well as possible, and if you treat girls better than guys, then you're not making the effort to treat guys well too.
The second thing I mentioned is how we treat family. I think just about everybody acts different when they're socializing with peers, then when they're with relatives. People tend to be a little bit better in their public life than in their private life, because they can hide their lesser moments that way. One thing that I've noticed, though, is that most of the best people I know are family people. My theory for this is that how you treat your family, though it may be different, correlates with how you treat your friends. Being exposed to your family all the time growing up, that's where one practices and learns good qualities and traits. If we learn to act kind to our parents and siblings, then that naturally translates into how we act towards our friends.
Every act we may shapes who we are as a person, regardless of who we're interacting with. Thus, however you choose to act, be it towards a stranger, a family member, or a close friend, be the same to all.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Lesson #9: One system doesn't apply to everyone
When I was in my senior year of high school, I took a class known as college-leveled English class. Though it was a struggle at first, I soon mastered writing essays in that class, and by the end of the year, I got to a point where I had expected to get an "A" or something close. When I got to college, I had the feeling that I could write at a college level. Therefore, when I had to write my first essay, which was a history paper, I expected to have little difficulties with it. When I got the paper back, I found out that I had done horribly.
Writing encompasses a wide variety of types. How I wrote in my English class, which involved a lot of analysis, interpretation, and thought, was different then how I had to write in my History class, which required me more to say what was there, and not really think, but state. Even though I had excelled at essays in my English class, I had become so accustomed to writing a certain way, that when it was time to write a history paper, I faltered. I felt a bit down after receiving my grade (which led to the birth of lesson #8), but it taught me that just because I struggled with a history paper, I wasn't necessarily a bad writer. It was just that the system wasn't something I was used to.
In sports we here it all the time: Player A has the speed to play in the West Coast Offense or This guy really has the versatility to fit into the Triangle. In sports, part of how successful a player is is how much skill he has, but it's also about how well he fits into the system. You could be a 7'0, 300 lb center in the NBA and the best player on your team, but if you're coach has an offense that involves a fast paced, then you might be too slow to keep up with everybody else, and thus, you look worse than you really are.
Another example we could point to is in the acting world with Halle Berry. Is Halle Berry a good actress or a bad one? In 2002, she won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in Monster's Ball. Therefore, she must be a great actress! However, three years later, she got a Razzie Award for Worst Actress for her role as Catwoman.So she's a horrible actress? I don't really have an opinion as to her acting abilities, but most likely, she's somewhere in between. What made her best one year and worst another year had to do with the system she was in, and in these situations, the system was the role she wast cast.
Think back to a couple posts ago when I talked about how everyone was a genius. Once we find what we're good at, we also need to find a system that really shows how good we can be.
Lesson #8: A good attitude is a powerful tool for a bad event
One of my favorite commercials features this little boy trying to hit a baseball. He declares himself the greatest hitter in the world, throws the ball up, swings, and misses. He calls that strike one, but again, declares himself the greatest hitter in the world. Once more, picks up the ball, throws it up in the air, swings, and for the second time, misses. The boy calls that strike two, but doesn't stop. For the third time, he declares himself the greatest hitter in the world, and repeats the whole process, and, for the final time, misses again. With that being strike three, he stands silently for a moment, before finally screaming, "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"
After something devastating happens, or things don't go the way we want them too, we're now faced with the challenge of how to overcome feeling bad. We mope, complain, look for excuses, but in the end, we just feel awful. Confidence is loss, we say we suck, and we struggle with how we're supposed to move on. It's important to note that, as my Business Law teacher once said, "Failure is an event, not a person." If we let ourselves feel bad for one thing that happens, then we let it affect everything that follows.
In statistics, there Law of Averages is non-existent, but numbers aren't always a good tool in life. I remember watching a Seattle Sonic basketball game, and the commentator was telling a story about Ray Allen. Allen had shot five three-pointers, and had only made one of them. Rather than feel put down about making only one, Allen said to himself that since he's a 40% 3-point shooter, then he's going to make three out of his next five, because then he'll average out to 40%. The way I like to think about it, a below average performance just means that an above average performance is soon to come.
I'm a big fan of Rocky Balboa, so here's some words of wisdom from Rocky himself to complete this lesson!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc
After something devastating happens, or things don't go the way we want them too, we're now faced with the challenge of how to overcome feeling bad. We mope, complain, look for excuses, but in the end, we just feel awful. Confidence is loss, we say we suck, and we struggle with how we're supposed to move on. It's important to note that, as my Business Law teacher once said, "Failure is an event, not a person." If we let ourselves feel bad for one thing that happens, then we let it affect everything that follows.
In statistics, there Law of Averages is non-existent, but numbers aren't always a good tool in life. I remember watching a Seattle Sonic basketball game, and the commentator was telling a story about Ray Allen. Allen had shot five three-pointers, and had only made one of them. Rather than feel put down about making only one, Allen said to himself that since he's a 40% 3-point shooter, then he's going to make three out of his next five, because then he'll average out to 40%. The way I like to think about it, a below average performance just means that an above average performance is soon to come.
I'm a big fan of Rocky Balboa, so here's some words of wisdom from Rocky himself to complete this lesson!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
#7: Everybody is a Genius
Albert Einstein is perhaps the greatest mind ever to have graced this Earth, and he said:
"Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid."
The definition of intelligence and who's smart and who's not has always intrigued me. As we grow up and progress through the educational system, we determine who's the smart one based on what grades they get. We think that the guy who aces every test must be super smart, and the gal who barely passed her paper is dumb. The reason we do this is simply because it's easy. Everyone has a number or letter attached to them, and that in turns, provides for an intellectual stereotype. While grades are important, this form of judgment that we have in our early year is quite flawed.
Think of the adults in your life, or maybe even the people in the news. We think of people like former President Bush as dumb, and most of the billionaires in the world as geniuses. Most people confidently establish their opinon of who's smart and who's not without even knowing what their GPA was or how they did in school. We judge people's intelligence on the decisions they make and how they act, not how many questions they get right or wrong on a test.
In my mind, if you want to know who's smart, take a look at the decisions they make. If most of the decisions they make are good, then they're smart, if not, then they're dumb. The problem that arises here, though, is that the ability to make the right decisions varies from topic to topic for each person. For instance, from NBA star Dennis Rodman was seen as wild, reckless, and dumb. Yet, when he played basketball, there was hardly a player that knew the game of basketball and its ins and outs as well as he. Does that make him smart or dumb? Jimmy Carter was a great huminatarian and won the Nobel Peace Prize, but the decisions he made as President left Americans unhappy. Is Jimmy Carter intelligent or stupid?
This is where Einstein's quote comes in. We call all be seen as an expert or a genius if we're in the right field. Rodman may not make the smartest life decisions, but he was a brilliant basketball player. The Presidency wasn't the thing for Jimmy Carter, but he looks incredibly bright when it comes to how to help society. What it all comes down to, is that we're all geniuses in a way; we just need to find out in what way. There were times after I failed a Physics test where I felt dumb, but what if I had never taken a Physics class to begin with? Then I'd feel pretty smart.
All in all, there's actually two things I learned that I'm trying to convey: 1) Be part of an environment you love and know well, and 2) Make good decisions in life.
"Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid."
The definition of intelligence and who's smart and who's not has always intrigued me. As we grow up and progress through the educational system, we determine who's the smart one based on what grades they get. We think that the guy who aces every test must be super smart, and the gal who barely passed her paper is dumb. The reason we do this is simply because it's easy. Everyone has a number or letter attached to them, and that in turns, provides for an intellectual stereotype. While grades are important, this form of judgment that we have in our early year is quite flawed.
Think of the adults in your life, or maybe even the people in the news. We think of people like former President Bush as dumb, and most of the billionaires in the world as geniuses. Most people confidently establish their opinon of who's smart and who's not without even knowing what their GPA was or how they did in school. We judge people's intelligence on the decisions they make and how they act, not how many questions they get right or wrong on a test.
In my mind, if you want to know who's smart, take a look at the decisions they make. If most of the decisions they make are good, then they're smart, if not, then they're dumb. The problem that arises here, though, is that the ability to make the right decisions varies from topic to topic for each person. For instance, from NBA star Dennis Rodman was seen as wild, reckless, and dumb. Yet, when he played basketball, there was hardly a player that knew the game of basketball and its ins and outs as well as he. Does that make him smart or dumb? Jimmy Carter was a great huminatarian and won the Nobel Peace Prize, but the decisions he made as President left Americans unhappy. Is Jimmy Carter intelligent or stupid?
This is where Einstein's quote comes in. We call all be seen as an expert or a genius if we're in the right field. Rodman may not make the smartest life decisions, but he was a brilliant basketball player. The Presidency wasn't the thing for Jimmy Carter, but he looks incredibly bright when it comes to how to help society. What it all comes down to, is that we're all geniuses in a way; we just need to find out in what way. There were times after I failed a Physics test where I felt dumb, but what if I had never taken a Physics class to begin with? Then I'd feel pretty smart.
All in all, there's actually two things I learned that I'm trying to convey: 1) Be part of an environment you love and know well, and 2) Make good decisions in life.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
#6: No Matter What, Always Do Good
I remember hearing a story on the news about this young girl who was a waitress. She worked at this place where this man would come every single day for breakfast. Now, this man was said to be rude, grumpy, and just plain out mean, and none of the servers wanted to have anything to do with him. That left this young girl to be the one who served him everyday. As unfriendly and mean as they man may have been, the girl always did her best to be as nice as possible, because that was the right thing to do.
At one point, the people working at the restaurant noticed that the old man had not showed up for a couple days. They soon found out that he had died. What made this story newsworthy, though, was that in his will, the man had left that young girl, the girl who was willing to deal with him and be kind to him, his car.
Throughout my life, I've heard so much the phrase, "Be the bigger man." That is truly easier to say than do. If we take a look in politics, part of the reason candidates criticize another is because they were criticized first. It's only human nature to try to look good, so if we're attacked, we attack back in order to regain a sense of superiority or decency. In the course of human history, all it's taken for a war to start is for one nation to retaliate to an attack from another.
Now, in the example I gave, the girl got a reward for her kindness, but that's not to say that we will always get something in return for tolerance or being nice. We shouldn't be nice just because we hope to get something out of it, but because it's the right thing to do, even if it may be difficult at times. I can only hope that Uncle Jesse in Full House (a favorite show of mine when I was younger) was right when he said to the Olsen twin character that being nice was contagious. If we all just be kind to one another and do good regardless of how we're treated, it will affect others and change can and will slowly occur.
At one point, the people working at the restaurant noticed that the old man had not showed up for a couple days. They soon found out that he had died. What made this story newsworthy, though, was that in his will, the man had left that young girl, the girl who was willing to deal with him and be kind to him, his car.
Throughout my life, I've heard so much the phrase, "Be the bigger man." That is truly easier to say than do. If we take a look in politics, part of the reason candidates criticize another is because they were criticized first. It's only human nature to try to look good, so if we're attacked, we attack back in order to regain a sense of superiority or decency. In the course of human history, all it's taken for a war to start is for one nation to retaliate to an attack from another.
Now, in the example I gave, the girl got a reward for her kindness, but that's not to say that we will always get something in return for tolerance or being nice. We shouldn't be nice just because we hope to get something out of it, but because it's the right thing to do, even if it may be difficult at times. I can only hope that Uncle Jesse in Full House (a favorite show of mine when I was younger) was right when he said to the Olsen twin character that being nice was contagious. If we all just be kind to one another and do good regardless of how we're treated, it will affect others and change can and will slowly occur.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Lesson #5: It Really Is Quality, Not Quantity
Heading into college, there's kind of a bit of pressure to try to make new friends. Along with learning, people say college is about socializing and meeting new people. As a result, I was a little fascinated when I was talking to a really old friend, and she said something along the lines that making friends was overrated. After thinking about that, I've find that to be true. I've always wanted to have a lot of friends, but I've found that making more friends doesn't always lead to more happiness.
I'm going to talk about basketball for a moment. In my opinion, the greatest team ever assembled in NBA history was the 1996 Chicago Bulls, which had a record-breaking 72 wins, compared to only 10 losses. The star player on that team was a guy we all know, the greatest of all time, Michael Jordan. Along with that, Chicago had another All-Star in Scottie Pippen. Aside from those two, though, there wasn't anyone else on that team that a lot of people would have considered great, or close to an All-Star.
Still talking in terms of basketball, let's take a look at the 2011 Boston Celtics. On that team, there were 4 different All Stars (for those who don't know much about the NBA, there's 12 players on a roster on each All Star team), and yet, those Celtics didn't even make it into the NBA Finals. If we go back a couple years earlier, we can take a look at the 2006 Detroit Pistons, who, like Boston, had 4 All Stars, but didn't make it to the NBA Finals either.
The explanation for this all has to do with the top. When a team's best player is the greatest player alive, that team is going to go far, just like Chicago always did with Michael Jordan. The Celtics and the Pistons, though they had many All Stars, didn't have a single player who probably would have been considered one of the top 20 players in the league. Even though basketball is a team sport, when the game really matters, a team will be carried and led by their best player. That's why Chicago, even devoid of as much great players, was so successful, because they were led by Michael Jordan. In contrast, Detroit and Chicago, even with all their great players, didn't have a truly great player to lead them to a championship.
All that I've just said may seem like a simplified lesson in basketball theory, but it really applies to life as well. We can make all the friends we want, but unless those friends are great and meaningful, then they'll have little impact in our lives. It's nice to have a lot of friends, but if we don't have that one or two friends that we can tell everything to, and that we would trust with our lives, we probably wouldn't be truly happy. That's probably why people are always wanting a boyfriend or a girlfriend, because then they have that one person they can always rely on.
To add to that, think of the show FRIENDS (that's one of my favorite shows, by the way). For those who don't know the show, it basically chronicles the life of this group of six friends. For most of my life, I've always wanted to have a life just like those characters, but here's the thing about it: for most of the series, it never seemed like those guys had friends outside of their group of six! Yet, fans all around envied the characters, not for the number of friendships they had, but for the closeness they had with their small group.
Making friends is always fun, and it's always good for life. However, make the friendships meaningful. It's the special friends that'll truly impact your life, and I'd take a couple special friends than a hundred acquaintances any day!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Lesson #4: It's About the People, Not the Place
On the weekend right before Halloween, I could have been hanging out on a college campus with a bunch of friends, and going to a haunted house for the first time in my life. Instead, I spent it with just one friend, going out to dinner and then carving pumpkins. It was the best time that I had in a while.
After a great time, people tend to be excited or be praiseful of the event that occured. We might credit a game being a lot of fun because the team played well, or a dinner party being amazing due to the tons of food given. One thing people tend to overlook, though, is the people they're with. How much fun would a game be without friends to go crazy with? How enjoyable would dinner be if there's no one to converse with? It's not where we're at, or what we're doing that's so important, but rather, the peple we're with.
I've gone to the Museum of Flight twice the last two years, and each time I went, I asked myself why I did. I'm not really into looking at the planes and their history, and to be quite honest, I found most of the museum a little bit boring. However, if I had the chance to, I'd redo going to the museum all over again. Why? Because I was with my closest friends when I went there. Being able to chat on the ride there, walk in good company for a couple hours in the museum, and then get a bite to eat, more than made up for my boredom with the museum. It's the people, not the places I've gone or the things I've done, that has made for the many great moments in my life.
Having a good time doesn't need to be elaborate or expensive. We don't need to plan on a 10 state road trip, or come up with an itinerary for Disneyland. All that needs to remembered is that it's all about the people!
After a great time, people tend to be excited or be praiseful of the event that occured. We might credit a game being a lot of fun because the team played well, or a dinner party being amazing due to the tons of food given. One thing people tend to overlook, though, is the people they're with. How much fun would a game be without friends to go crazy with? How enjoyable would dinner be if there's no one to converse with? It's not where we're at, or what we're doing that's so important, but rather, the peple we're with.
I've gone to the Museum of Flight twice the last two years, and each time I went, I asked myself why I did. I'm not really into looking at the planes and their history, and to be quite honest, I found most of the museum a little bit boring. However, if I had the chance to, I'd redo going to the museum all over again. Why? Because I was with my closest friends when I went there. Being able to chat on the ride there, walk in good company for a couple hours in the museum, and then get a bite to eat, more than made up for my boredom with the museum. It's the people, not the places I've gone or the things I've done, that has made for the many great moments in my life.
Having a good time doesn't need to be elaborate or expensive. We don't need to plan on a 10 state road trip, or come up with an itinerary for Disneyland. All that needs to remembered is that it's all about the people!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Lesson #3: It's Nice to be Important, but It's More Important to be Nice
The title of this post is one of my favorite quotes of all time. The first time I heard this was when I was watching the Ellen DeGeneres show a several months ago. Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson was on the guest, and though I can't remember what he was responding to, he said, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice" and that's stuck with me ever since.
When we're young, one of the first things we are taught is to be nice. Nice was the cool thing to do; we liked our teachers because they were nice, or we thought a kid was cool because they were nice. As we moved from the stages of elementary school and onto secondary education and adulthood, I feel like we start to lose the idea that being nice is cool. We're attracted to people because they're good looking, they make us laugh, or they have a mystique to them; it's not because they're necessarily nice.
In the process of trying to appeal to people and gain popularity, people sacrifice kindness, which is just wrong. When someone is trying to be funny, they may do so by targeting someone's fault, which may hurt that person. When someone is trying to be smooth and cool (I read a study that showed that girls are attracted to guys who don't smile), they may be a bit cold and unfriendly to some people, which is definitely not nice. Being nice is an important trait that shouldn't be compromised.
One of my idols is Ellen DeGeneres and there are two things I love about her that relate to this lesson. One, in her monologues, unlike other talk show hosts, she doesn't bash other people in order to get laughs. And two, she always ends her show by saying, "Be kind" which I absolutely love. If everyone in the world were like Ellen, we'd all be living in a better place.
Too many times, I've been guilty of being a bit judgmental. I used to not like someone for specific reasons, maybe it was because they were extremely loud, or perhaps I thought they were a loner without friends. As I've grown, I've come to notice that some of the people who have little friends are some of the nicest people I know. Rather than coming up with a criteria for whether we want to be friends with someone, we should always heavily factor one question: Are they nice?
When we're young, one of the first things we are taught is to be nice. Nice was the cool thing to do; we liked our teachers because they were nice, or we thought a kid was cool because they were nice. As we moved from the stages of elementary school and onto secondary education and adulthood, I feel like we start to lose the idea that being nice is cool. We're attracted to people because they're good looking, they make us laugh, or they have a mystique to them; it's not because they're necessarily nice.
In the process of trying to appeal to people and gain popularity, people sacrifice kindness, which is just wrong. When someone is trying to be funny, they may do so by targeting someone's fault, which may hurt that person. When someone is trying to be smooth and cool (I read a study that showed that girls are attracted to guys who don't smile), they may be a bit cold and unfriendly to some people, which is definitely not nice. Being nice is an important trait that shouldn't be compromised.
One of my idols is Ellen DeGeneres and there are two things I love about her that relate to this lesson. One, in her monologues, unlike other talk show hosts, she doesn't bash other people in order to get laughs. And two, she always ends her show by saying, "Be kind" which I absolutely love. If everyone in the world were like Ellen, we'd all be living in a better place.
Too many times, I've been guilty of being a bit judgmental. I used to not like someone for specific reasons, maybe it was because they were extremely loud, or perhaps I thought they were a loner without friends. As I've grown, I've come to notice that some of the people who have little friends are some of the nicest people I know. Rather than coming up with a criteria for whether we want to be friends with someone, we should always heavily factor one question: Are they nice?
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Lesson #2: Use the Courage Card
One of my biggest regrets came on Christmas Day 2010. I drove to my friends house to give her some crepes that I had made for my family, and in return, she handed me a box of cookies. As I drove home, I passed this corner where a lot of homeless people stand asking for food or money. I had the box of cookies in the passenger seat right next to me, and the homeless person was out in the cold, only a couple of feet away from me. While at the red light, I deliberated with myself whether or not I should give him the cookies. It was Christmas, I sure didn't need cookies, and he looked like he could've used some food. It was the perfect moment to do a random act of kindness. Alas, the light turned green, and I left, cookies still in my car. That moment has made me guilty ever since.
Now, in most situations, whenever there is some man or woman on the street with a sign asking for help, I tend to ignore them. Just about everybody does. I hardly ever see people actually give a dollar bill or a sandwich to those poor people. However, one day, I drove past nearly that identical spot, and as usual, I saw a homeless women there. What made this situation unique was that I saw a hand stick out from a car in the inner lane, with money in hand. The homeless women went over to that car and took the money. Almost immediately, I saw another car do the same thing, and another, and another! Whereas usually I see no one lend a hand and give some money, on that day, I saw four different people aid that poor women.
I think, deep down, we all want to contribute to those we see in need. The reason we don't is not because we're bad, but because we're scared. No one wants to stand out by opening their window and handing money to a stranger, but once we see someone else do it, we're not scared anymore, and do what we want to.
Back in my freshman year, my World History teacher had this thing called the "courage card." It wasn't really a thing, but more of an idea that we need to brave. He meant taking the initiative, trying new things, and telling the truth. What's funny is that the next year, I read in the school newspaper him mentioning the courage card and the example he gave was to try out for a sports team. I took his words, and I tried out for the basketball team, only to fail epically. Either way, though, I was proud of myself for being brave and trying something that I hadn't before.
I wasn't to big of his concept of the "courage card" at first, because I felt things like trying something new wasn't significant, and wasn't true courage. As I've grown older, and as I've seen examples like the one I mentioned above, I've realized how important courage in doing the little things really is. When I say we need courage, I don't mean one needs to get over their fear of spiders, or take risks in life. What I do mean is that we need to be able to carry out what we feel or think. We need to have the courage that is required in everyday life to do good, or to be different, or say what we feel. It's also courage that allows us to tell the truth.
Courage in everyday life is an incredibly overlooked value. It's important for the sake of being able to execute what we believe, and at the say time, influence others. Being brave is a contagious thing, and when we're all brave, we all benefit.
Now, in most situations, whenever there is some man or woman on the street with a sign asking for help, I tend to ignore them. Just about everybody does. I hardly ever see people actually give a dollar bill or a sandwich to those poor people. However, one day, I drove past nearly that identical spot, and as usual, I saw a homeless women there. What made this situation unique was that I saw a hand stick out from a car in the inner lane, with money in hand. The homeless women went over to that car and took the money. Almost immediately, I saw another car do the same thing, and another, and another! Whereas usually I see no one lend a hand and give some money, on that day, I saw four different people aid that poor women.
I think, deep down, we all want to contribute to those we see in need. The reason we don't is not because we're bad, but because we're scared. No one wants to stand out by opening their window and handing money to a stranger, but once we see someone else do it, we're not scared anymore, and do what we want to.
Back in my freshman year, my World History teacher had this thing called the "courage card." It wasn't really a thing, but more of an idea that we need to brave. He meant taking the initiative, trying new things, and telling the truth. What's funny is that the next year, I read in the school newspaper him mentioning the courage card and the example he gave was to try out for a sports team. I took his words, and I tried out for the basketball team, only to fail epically. Either way, though, I was proud of myself for being brave and trying something that I hadn't before.
I wasn't to big of his concept of the "courage card" at first, because I felt things like trying something new wasn't significant, and wasn't true courage. As I've grown older, and as I've seen examples like the one I mentioned above, I've realized how important courage in doing the little things really is. When I say we need courage, I don't mean one needs to get over their fear of spiders, or take risks in life. What I do mean is that we need to be able to carry out what we feel or think. We need to have the courage that is required in everyday life to do good, or to be different, or say what we feel. It's also courage that allows us to tell the truth.
Courage in everyday life is an incredibly overlooked value. It's important for the sake of being able to execute what we believe, and at the say time, influence others. Being brave is a contagious thing, and when we're all brave, we all benefit.
Lesson #1: Do Good
The very first lesson I'm going to start off with is a very simple and broad one: Do good.
Back when I was a kid, I was a big fan of the show Boy Meets World, and one of my favorite characters was the wise Mr. Feeny. In the series finale, Mr. Feeny gives advice to the main cast, saying, "Dream. Try. Do good." Topanga, the very academic student, says, "Don't you mean do well?" To that, Mr. Feeny replies, "No, I mean do good."
At the time I first saw that seen, I was a very young child, and I had interpreted that as Mr. Feeny trying to teach his students that grammar doesn't matter. Yeah, that was a simplisitc interpretation. As I grew older, I found out that it meant not to do well, as in make a lot of money or be the best CEO, but to do good, as in to help others and contribute to the world. Essentially, what Mr. Feeny was trying to say was that rather than be a great student or a great businessman, be a great person.
Considering this is the first post, I figure I'd try to tie this into the United State's first President (I had an obsession with Presidents when I was a kid). Growing up, we've all come to know that George Washington was a great President, but in the last couple of years, I've learned, and for this I've respected him even more for, that he was a great person as well. He was not the brightest mind, as he wasn't educated, nor was he the most brilliant general, as he did lose a number of battles during his time. However, he was seen by his colleagues as sort of a demi-God. He had great morals and character and that had a lot to do with why people respected him. He never sought power, and when it was given to him, he didn't take it greedily. When the idea of the executive was created in the late 1700s, it was created with George Washington in mind. In the history of US Presidential elections, Washington was the only person elected unanimously, and it was because his characters and his willingness to do good earned him admiration from his peers.
The Feeny scene from Boy Meets World:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIVyRjAI0pI
Back when I was a kid, I was a big fan of the show Boy Meets World, and one of my favorite characters was the wise Mr. Feeny. In the series finale, Mr. Feeny gives advice to the main cast, saying, "Dream. Try. Do good." Topanga, the very academic student, says, "Don't you mean do well?" To that, Mr. Feeny replies, "No, I mean do good."
At the time I first saw that seen, I was a very young child, and I had interpreted that as Mr. Feeny trying to teach his students that grammar doesn't matter. Yeah, that was a simplisitc interpretation. As I grew older, I found out that it meant not to do well, as in make a lot of money or be the best CEO, but to do good, as in to help others and contribute to the world. Essentially, what Mr. Feeny was trying to say was that rather than be a great student or a great businessman, be a great person.
Considering this is the first post, I figure I'd try to tie this into the United State's first President (I had an obsession with Presidents when I was a kid). Growing up, we've all come to know that George Washington was a great President, but in the last couple of years, I've learned, and for this I've respected him even more for, that he was a great person as well. He was not the brightest mind, as he wasn't educated, nor was he the most brilliant general, as he did lose a number of battles during his time. However, he was seen by his colleagues as sort of a demi-God. He had great morals and character and that had a lot to do with why people respected him. He never sought power, and when it was given to him, he didn't take it greedily. When the idea of the executive was created in the late 1700s, it was created with George Washington in mind. In the history of US Presidential elections, Washington was the only person elected unanimously, and it was because his characters and his willingness to do good earned him admiration from his peers.
The Feeny scene from Boy Meets World:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIVyRjAI0pI
Monday, October 24, 2011
The Most Important Lessons
The most important lessons that one gets in life is not about history or english, nor is it about science or math. It's about life. The greatest teachers are those that teach you how to live your life so that you're the best person that you can be, and the great thing about it is that no one needs to be certified to teach these lessons. Growing up, we learn about our parents, and then we learn from our teachers. Then once we actually desire to learn, we learn from our friends, siblings, and people on TV.
The best lessons in life don't have to, and probably shouldn't be, too direct. It's not enough for our parents just to tell us to be honest or have good manners, but we actually have to see it. There are so many lessons that we learn from just reading a book, learning about history, or maybe even watching a basketball game. We may not have intended to learn about it or think we're learning anything special, but in the end, we may have discovered something new. In the process of going through our days, there are many things available that indirectly provide us with a lesson.
The reason I write is because I want to share what I know, or rather, what I've learned. Not everyone can be the best student, because sometimes, as hard as we try, we just can't understand something. Not everyone can be the best athlete, because we're not all tall, quick, and strong built. However, one thing we CAN all be is a great person. You don't got to be good looking, smart, or athletic to be the best person you can be. I've always wanted to be the best at everything, and the fact of the matter is, I'm most likely never going to be able to be the next Jeopardy winner, the next NBA MVP, or the next Sexiest Man Alive. One thing I will always try to be, though, is a great person.
I'm no where close to a perfect person, but everyday, I try to inch closer. I look at the people around me, and I notice who I admire, and who I wish to never be like. I try to extract lessons from everybody, and with the lessons I get, I try to impart them to others. Through this blog, I'm not trying to tell people how to live their lives or what's right and what's wrong, but I just want to show the lessons that I have learned. And hopefully, in some way, I'll be able to make an impact in someone's life!
The best lessons in life don't have to, and probably shouldn't be, too direct. It's not enough for our parents just to tell us to be honest or have good manners, but we actually have to see it. There are so many lessons that we learn from just reading a book, learning about history, or maybe even watching a basketball game. We may not have intended to learn about it or think we're learning anything special, but in the end, we may have discovered something new. In the process of going through our days, there are many things available that indirectly provide us with a lesson.
The reason I write is because I want to share what I know, or rather, what I've learned. Not everyone can be the best student, because sometimes, as hard as we try, we just can't understand something. Not everyone can be the best athlete, because we're not all tall, quick, and strong built. However, one thing we CAN all be is a great person. You don't got to be good looking, smart, or athletic to be the best person you can be. I've always wanted to be the best at everything, and the fact of the matter is, I'm most likely never going to be able to be the next Jeopardy winner, the next NBA MVP, or the next Sexiest Man Alive. One thing I will always try to be, though, is a great person.
I'm no where close to a perfect person, but everyday, I try to inch closer. I look at the people around me, and I notice who I admire, and who I wish to never be like. I try to extract lessons from everybody, and with the lessons I get, I try to impart them to others. Through this blog, I'm not trying to tell people how to live their lives or what's right and what's wrong, but I just want to show the lessons that I have learned. And hopefully, in some way, I'll be able to make an impact in someone's life!
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